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| Photo courtesy of Doc Watson |
After Momma's funeral, I sank into a horribly low valley of grief, fear, and heartache. On several different occasions, a friend or a family member would try to comfort me by saying, "You'll be alright. It just takes time." When I heard that, I would force a smile but inside I screamed, "You don't understand how broken my heart is! There isn't enough time in all eternity to take away this hurt!!"
Grief is to the spirit and heart what a broken bone is to the physical body. It's real and the pain of it is real, too. The day after the funeral, someone asked how I was doing and I immediately replied, "Grief is like walking barefoot on broken glass: you have to keep moving, but it cuts deep, it hurts, and you bleed." That was truly how I felt; the raw ache in my chest was that real.
I heard a Christian evangelist says that time doesn't heal, but time does reveal how Jesus heals. That I understand. Time itself can do nothing, just as a doctor setting a broken bone cannot make the bone heal. It takes the Good Physician, Jesus, to heal both.
I walked away from Momma's grave side a different person; I limped with the pain of losing the sweetest, most caring person I have ever known. The days then became weeks, and the weeks months as I set about settling Momma's estate and establishing a new "normal" way of life without her in it. The work on Momma's house was good therapy for me as it kept me busy and doing something needful and constructive. Gradually, the uncontrollable sobbing became less and less, I began sleeping at night without the use of medication, and I started functioning better.
And like a broken bone that was given proper support and care, my heart and spirit have begun to heal. I understand that I have no choice but to survive this. And I accept that life is different and will never be like it was before Momma's homegoing. I realize that now my heart and life are scarred from the brokenness just as that bone forever bears a scar where the break was. But I have seen that with the grace of the Lord, the healing does happen.
It truly does just takes time: time for the healing work of Jesus to be revealed.
Shared in love,
Cris
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| Courtesy of Dover Free Clipart |
