How to Help Those that are Grieving at the Holidays by Karen Ehman

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     The Lord has been so gracious to bring to me helpful thoughts and suggestions from others who have or are walking the path of grief.  Today, a good devotion was shared with me and below is an excerpt from it that I pray will be helpful to you, too.  

             Shared in love,

                              Cris

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How to Help Those that are Grieving at the Holidays

by Karen Ehman


       Here are some points about grief to keep in mind as you interact with those who are sick at heart:

       G—Give them space. Don't expect them to bounce right back after a few weeks and act like their old selves. The grief process takes a long time, and people will continue to miss a loved one until the day they die. Be consistent in reaching out to them, including them, and showing them love. Do not be offended if they don't consistently act like their old selves. They need a little space and a lot of time.

       R—Remember their loved one out loud. Don't be afraid to speak of the one who has passed away or their loved one who is suffering from a disease. It usually makes it worse when no one will mention the name of the deceased. When you feel it is appropriate, talk about their loved one, mentioning a happy memory or funny story or one of their character qualities. Keep their memory alive in your conversations. A friend who lost his son in the Iraq war once told me, "Don't be afraid to speak his name. Speaking his name doesn't remind me that my son died. I know he died. Speaking his name reminds me that you remember that he lived."

       I—Invite them along. Even though the grieving need space, they still need to know that you want to include them in your activities. Make it a point to invite them out to lunch or to take in a movie or show. Ask them to take in a sporting event or a concert. Don't be offended if they aren't up to going. Just keep inviting them, so they know you care.

       E—Etch important dates on your calendar. Holidays and other special dates are especially hard the first few years—Christmas, birthdays, Mother's or Father's Day. Make plans to reach out to the grieving on these difficult occasions. Did your friends lose their son in his senior year of high school? Make sure to send a thoughtful card during graduation time in the spring, letting them know you are praying for them. Did your neighbor lose her husband to a heart attack? Find out their wedding anniversary and offer to take your neighbor out for coffee or lunch. One of my favorite ideas was when my young boys took flowers to a sweet older widow we called Grandma Alma on what would have been her wedding anniversary. We told her that since Grandpa Don was busy in heaven, he had us deliver the love that day.

       F—Frame a favorite picture. Print a photo of the person and their loved one who is now gone. It is a simple gift but one that will be appreciated. When my sister-in-law passed away, my friend Mandy purchased a small Christmas ornament that framed a picture of my sister-in-law. Each Christmas when we hang it on the tree, I fondly remember not only my relative but my thoughtful friend.

       This year, use the holidays as an excuse to better the life of someone who is grieving and shine the light of Christ as you do.

Merry Christmas
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For more information or resources, here is Karen's blog link:
http://www.karenehman.com/blog/